In the last 11 weeks I've lost my Dad, my Aunty and hopefully but very sadly I've just had news of the third death..... My dear friend Margaret's dog was mauled to death by her daughters pit bull cross yesterday. It's absolutely horrible to think that old Spot died in such a vicious horrible way but she understood when I said "please god, let that be the 3rd".. I don't want to lose my lovely Uncle who has lung cancer but today he gave me a vase that he said Aunty wanted me to have. She's had it for so long it didnt seem right taking it away from their home but he insisted I take it now. I feel like he thinks he won't be here for long and he's doing a big spring clean in his sheds and cupboards...but that's way more than I can cope with right now. How sad it must be for elderly people or anyone who is suddenly on their own after a life time together. They have been so close to me, as was my Dad, (if I could ever get him on his own...) and when Uncle goes it's like all the elder's who have cared about me and loved me unconditionally have gone. My Mum is not so unconditional and very judgemental sadly but she has become closer now that Dad has passed away. However, sadly, we've never been AS close as Dad, Uncle, Aunty and Me. Am I feeling sorry for myself still.. yeap!
I'm allowed too.. on Friday I had tests as my Dr wants to rule out bowel cancer and now I have to have a colonoscopy... the waiting list is till the end of January but the surgeon wants to get something done before then so I'm waiting for a phone call...maybe tomorrow! I haven't told anyone in my family.. they've had enough and don't need anything else to worry about. If it's bad news I'll still handle it myself for awhile but I'm still hoping it's just ongoing 'crap' (literally) from chlostredium difficile which I contacted in hospital after my cancer surgery last year. Tests are clear for it now but it does destroy the good and bad bacteria in your gut.
Geez, I need to do something happy..... tomorrow night I've got a christmas party to go too.. more food. I have to be honest. My diet has not started yet! I think I'll give up till after Christmas and then get stuck in. Probably go back to WW as I can't do it on my own. Need a buddy to go to the pool with too.. and walking.
This weeks goals... to cut out two quilts so I can sew them together next Saturday at sewing day.
To cut down on one naughty food.. and make my lunch for work (3 days at least)
To finish my spring cleaning and gardening
Okay, off to bed. It's been an overwhelming day and I need to be switched on for work tomorrow.
PS I've just read my friend Chris (Diet Coke Rocks) blog and heard that my old boss Stew's dad has passed away too. My love and thoughts go out to you both. It's such a sad experience to watch your loved one pass away slowly but I am so humble that I could be there for my Dad and my Aunt. How wonderful it was Stew that you've been in the same city and been able to share more time with him in the past few months. Big Hugs mate.